You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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