I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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