Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize