I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
