go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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