How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
