What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
