Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
