I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize