1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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