wanna go halves on a baby?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
