so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
