they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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