My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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