I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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