I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
