i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
