That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
