dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
