I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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