just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
