went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
