If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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