I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
