Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
