This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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