Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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