Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize