I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and she was petting her beer can
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
