Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Less talking, more tequila
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
