I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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