Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
