When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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