Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I didn't shave. On purpose
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
