I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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