You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
