Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
