Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
