"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize