That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
