Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
