Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
