The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
