Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
