butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
