ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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