the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
