i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize