why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he fucked my hip out of place.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
