ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
