Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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