I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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