Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
