yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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