You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
