Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and she was petting her beer can
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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